From 01/08/10
I am terrified.
Waiting room beige surrounds me.
Wishing for a cure.
I say, "Fuck cancer."
But I am scared of the cure:
Chemo/radiation.
There is life after.
I will live it with full love,
grateful for the chance.
Family supports.
Medical staff provides treatmetns.
I fight it with help.
Is it time for the
blood test, radiation, or
chemotherapy?
I can not sleep while
fear overtakes all my thoughts.
I relax and pray.
You want me, Cancer.
You want to destroy my life.
I won't "let" you win.
Scheduling changes.
Confused about where to go.
Don't know where to be.
Confusion reigning.
Who's in charge of my treatment?
Does anyone care?
------------
01/12/10
Needle in the arm.
Ativan, tell a joke, poke.
Good vein on the right.
Didn't sleep last night.
Relax, feet up, and lie back.
Resting in the chair.
My t-shirts' sayings.
Cause all the nurses to smile.
Now they know my intent.
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