Enlightenment

This music makes me want to fight.

I am tutoring a new protege. He is he 4 weeks younger than I, without a steady income, and on the verge of losing his car. His teeth need to be pulled out because his gums are impacted. His wife is an aid at the high school and has to go on unemployment during the summer break. And they are losing his car. He reads very rudimentarily and, until I started working with him, did not write at all. The man WORKS at the tasks I give him until he can perfect them, so he will find his way slowly out of his predicament.

Last night, we practiced what he needed to carry out for the next couple of weeks (while he heals from upcoming surgery). I got so sad, because I could not help him more than I have. He and his wife are on the brink of losing their car! How will they get to work? How can they get the basics of life in this car-centered community? As I was leaving the library ruminating about the full impact of his misfortune, I looked up at the announcement board. In big, bright letters was an announcement from a local church guaranteeing free showers Monday through Friday. I realized that he is not the only one, that if a church is giving away showers, there must be many, many more in our community.

As I got into my car to drive away the band Rage Against the Machine pushed its way through my speakers, rapping to my social conscience. Normally I ignore their communist/anarchist lyrics, but I was ready to listen. They were addressing exactly what I was feeling and thinking. I must have been glowing as my sadness turned to rage, because everyone I drove by stared at me. The song's immediacy made me question the few small things I was doing about poverty in our community. I felt like there was so much more that needed to be done.

I wished I could shout at people and wake them up, get them to see how they have been numbed. But I couldn't. Off and on for years, I had been numbed too, and I remembered how those who were aware sounded to me, and I knew I would only have the same limited effect. So, I decided that I would quietly work in the small way I am equipped to and keep trying to get the message out with loving kindness. Perhaps I can be an example.

In the words of a factory worker who heard RATM for the first time, "This music makes me want to fight." And I shall.